i'm juz so sick and tired of everything.. u're juz like everyone else... i hate u...
ingenue
3:39 AM
i'm fine my darlings.. dere is nth wrong... =) ppl were concerned with my last post... thank you... but it was juz cuz my bb has to leave me for 3 daes.. and i cant bear to see him leave.. dats all.. haa :p now u feel like killin me eh? lol.. dun... cuz itz onli de screen u'll bi punCHing... ;p heh...
new year was fine... juz dat i was without bb... felt kinda lost... wrote 3 letters to bb de nite before he left.. wrecked my brains and stayed up late.. woke up early next morning.. bathed.. took a bus to bb's place.. bb was shocked.. so was his bro.. leslie... aha... 3 letters 1 for each dae... i cant be with my bb physically.. but emotionally... spiritually... i'll bi with him....
cny eve............. 8/2
was spent at home.. reunion dinner finiShed kinda late... after dinner... did last min montary transactions @ de ATM.. juz as i was bz transferring de money.. my bb call me.. miss him so muCh.. heh.. went home.. tok for awhile online.. den went to bed... was fidgety de whole time.. couldnt help but press my fone to sms bb... juz cant help it.. -shrugs-
1st day of cny......... 9/2
morning juz doesnt seem so right without bb... without him waking me up.. i cant seem to get outta my hse... i took my own sweet time.. dilly dally... finally decided to step out of my hse after muCh nagging and fone calls frm my aunt... shessh.. usual routine.. nth new... having a splitting headache in de afternoon.. itz de same every year... zzz super hot weather.. was waitin for bb's call de whole day.. but he din.. :< went to my other granny hse in de nite... bb finally called me.. FINALLY -.-''' couldnt bear to put dwn de fone.. but i had to.. lol.. now i dun sound me do i? but it is me! lolx.. dumb... but true.. went ktv with my cousins @ nite... din get to sing muCh... but it was alright.. itz de companionship dat matters.. right? heh...
2nd day of cny......... 10/2
woke up to see my bb's sms dat he's gonna reach sg @ ard 2pm.. so happy.. heh... chatted online... "rolled" around in my hse... lol.. anticipating 2pm... finally at 2+ bb called to sae dat he's reached home.. so happy dat my bb is finally back... thou he wasnt gone for long.. thou he wasnt too far awae... it juz din feel good dat he wasnt by my side... =\ bb piCked me up in de evening to go over to his granny's place... had dinner... de food was good.. but.. i din eat muCh... haa.. i dun eat muCh @ ppl's hse.. went to suntec kenny rogers to eat... i'm a glutton!!! >.< lol.. den we went to de river ang bao... walked around for awhile... bb refused to play de ride with me.. he said he's.... LAZY... yea rite... :p walked around till 12.. den went over to gv marina to watch Constantine... weeeeeeeeeee... freakinnnnnnnn good show.. i told bb i wanna get de knuckle thingy Keeanu Reeves was wearing.. lolx... piCked Leslie(bb's bro) up from Yishun.. he watched de same show but at yishun... he refused to go watch with us!!! lolx.. he wans to tmm with his gf =x anywayz.. was acting like an idiot on de car.. i told bb.. i was gonna spray holy water on him.. he thinks i'm nuts.. holding a bottle of mineral water imagining dat itz holy water.. lolx.. thou my bb is kinda irritating.. irritates me all de while.. -.-'' but i still love him.. -sprays holy water ard- lol =p
my best friend Brina's Bday!!!! 3rd day of cny......... 11/2
Happy Birthday Brina!!!! muackz.. lolx.. met up with dis ger in de afternoon.. went to eat @ amoy street kah-soh... food was terrific! as usual... lol.. couldnt finish de food.. -.-'''' after lunch.. went to settlers cafe to play board games... eek.. reminds me of.. SOME PEOPLE.. BITCH.. lolx.. but doesnt matter.. hah.. had a great time playin dumb but funny games... makes me feel.. young and healthy! LOL.. clubbing makes me feel old and unhealthy... i shall play more board games and club less.. ya.. LIKE REAL! lolx.. but i was so glad Brina liked de present.. i had a hard time choosing it! i kept thinkin... would i like it if i was her??? lol.. luCkily!!! :p took a train home and... yea.. some stuff happened.. well... sometimes i juz feel like dat.. but i find it hard to sae how i feel.. till de pt i cant tolerate... i'll juz burst out... sounds like a time bomb? well.. i m one.. but my bb chose to keep this life sized time bomb beside him.. -shrugs- i'm sorry bb... sorry for acting like a brat at times... i'm juz.. afraid...
4th day of cny.......... 12/2
sat.. wad is sat? WORKING DAY!!!!! nth new.. juz work work... lol.. qihe bought 99 roses for jesmin.. hmmmm..... he wanted to di siao bb bout buyin flowers for me.. but... i was de 1 hu told bb not to buy flowers for me on vdae... itz juz sooooo not worth de money... we're practical ppl.. i believe money can be put to better use.. like LV? haa! anywayz.. de flowers came pretty late at nite.. chrystele brought de flowers to de lan shop.. everyone was like.. fwahh... 99 roses..... but... hey.. 99 aint impressive enuff if u asked me.. i've received bigger bouquets.. lol.. i told bb.. next year vdae i'll buy 999 roses and PARADE around.. LOL.. wads so great bout roses anywayz?! i still prefer white lilies.. pure.. innocence.. elegance.. dats wad a lily means to me.. dats wad i see in a lily.. haa.. :p
5th day of cny........... 13/2
told bb i wanted to go shopping.. wanted to shake him off so i can go buy his vdae present.. but... bb was sweet enuff to volunteer to accompany me.. zzzz... wanted to get boxers for him.. aha.. dats wad brina suggested... den while browsing webbies.. i saw a ring from lee hwa jewellery dat i wanted to get for him... but as my bb knws.. i cant keep anything from him.. i cant even seem to lie to him -.-''' alwayz pua kang tao -.- alwayz bei chuan bang.. zzzz... when my bb found out i wanted to buy dat for him.. he said he din wanted it.. he wanted a couple ring.. so i told him bout de ring i saw with jr de other day... i showed bb de ring... and bb liked it immediately... so we went dwn to take a look at de ring.. and if u ppl have seen me dis few daes.. u would have seen de ring already.. i duno wad a ring means to everyone else.. but i knw to me.. it represents de other person holding de other ring.. regardless of where he or she is.. and now i knw dat part of my bb will alwayz bi with me.. and part of me will alwayz be with him.. =)
Saint Valentine's Day... 6th day of cny........ 14/2
went to school as usual.. was sooooooo freaking tired i couldnt stand it anymore.. i walked out of de lecture hall.. lie on de bench outside de LT.. and slpt for 15 mins.. LOL! woke up and went in for de last 5 mins of de lecture and den went home.. met bb for lunch.. terrible food... sunshine place @ cck... nv eat dere.. sux.. -.-''' bb went back to school to do proj... slpt till evenin.. den called bb... he was comin to pick me up to go over to his place 1st... at my place.. we were deciding ware to have dinner.. i suggested mezza 9 @ hyatt.. but it was fully booked -.-''' bb wanted to try fort canning.. cuz we've nv been dere... omg.. it was a bad bad bad mistake.. 1stly.. de place was hard to find... 2ndly... de service was terrible!!!! we called and made a reservation.. but de name wasnt on de list.. but dey got us a table.. so it din really matter... den dey served de appetizer... which din look very appetizing to us... and we had to wait 30 mins before de next dish was served.. and it wasnt de main.. it was juz de soup!!!! i got so pissed i went straight to de manager and complained.. de service totally sux!!! and de food.. omg.. i think i can cook better food den dat!!! we finished de dinner asap.. foot de bill.. and left de place... shessh -.-''' drove to clarke quay... omg.. de place has changed soooo much since i last went dere.. went to watch ppl play de gmax... wanted to try... but i was wearing a skirt... decided dat we'll come play another day.. went back to bb's hse... had my ankle stepped on by some fat ass while working de other day... and bb helped me apply medication and wrapped it up... played abit of dynasty warrior 3... and den bb sent me home... ty bb.. -muackz- i appreciate everything u've done for me..
7th day of cny......... 15/2
woke up to bb's voice in de morning.. bb picked me up.. we went to KAP mac for bbf.. and he sent me to school.. bb looked funny today.. look abit like an uncle =X lOl.. as him wads he's wearing and u'll knw why! lolx =X finished school and bb called me.. told me to call him when i've reached home.. while on de bus.. smsed bb to disturb him.. but he replied sayin dat he lost his wallet.. my goodness.. boy was he pissed.. after sometime of panickin.. failin to find de wallet.. i told bb to wait another 30 mins and if he still cant find it.. call de bank to cancel his card.. but bb said dat he'll probably not find de card.. so he called POSB up.. and cancelled de card.. low and behold.. juz as he cancelled de card... pasir panjang police post called him.. lol! someone found his wallet!!! apparently everything was intact cept de parking violation ticket.. namecards.. and my foto!!! lol.. i was telling bb.. it muz bi ur ex gf hu picked up ur wallet... hates me.. dats y cleared ur wallet of ur rubbish.. AND my foto.. lol.. :p but all is well now.. juz have to wait for POSB to send bb de replacement card.. haa! wad a day... now i'm sitting around waitin for time to pass.. and waitin for my bb to come pick me up... heh..
i'm an addict... seriously addicted... addicted to u...
i'm an addict... seriously addicted... addicted to u...
ingenue
1:26 PM
i feel stupid as i ask if u could not go... i guess i'm juz plain dumb.. askin de obvious... but i cant help but cry... i guess i miss u.. even before u're gone.. i'm juz so not used to without u by my side... i hate u for makin me dis way... i hate u for makin me dumb... i hate u for makin me cry... but i love u for everything else... most importantly... i love u for u... guess i love u more den i hate u..
ingenue
1:55 AM
i'm moody.. upset.. i duno y.. thought bout lotsa stuff these few daes.. especially r/s... hey.. dere's no prob with my r/s i think... i duno.. maybe itz juz me.. maybe itz juz de ultra sensitive me sinkin in.. everyone knws dat guys are an insensitive lot... maybe dey are.. or are dey juz fakin it? haa.. i duno.. i've been with my bf for like abit more den a mth and we're like meetin almost every single dae.. we're like alwayz together.. maybe we're so used to it dat it becomes a routine of our lifes.. question being.. do u need me cuz u love me? or do u love me cuz u need me? there's a great difference between de two.. ok.. call me extra super sensitive... he used to open de car door for me everytime.. now it becomes.. not everytime.. well.. it doesnt matter if dere's someone to open de door for me.. but i hate it when de thought of de sentence "when i dun open de car door for u.. dats when i dun love u anymore" comes to my mind.. i used to alwayz see this beam of happiness on his face whenever we're together.. somehow or rather.. i dun see it anymore.. maybe itz juz tiredness.. maybe.. itz not... as time goes.. i somehow or rather feel his love for me fading away until sometimes i cant even feel it at all.. or maybe itz cause i'm loving him more? i knw he cares.. i knw he's concerned.. but he's juz like everyone else now.. used to de sickly lil me.. too used to it he cant be bothered.. maybe itz juz cause i'm feeling dis way.. dat made me bite at him all de time.. i seriously dun wan to.. but itz juz my way of protecting myself.. to shun away from everyone else.. but i juz cant help running back to him.. hugging him... i dun knw wad.. i dun knw why... i guess i'm juz hopelessly in love... why m i blogging it down? maybe cuz i wan him to knw how i feel.. but i juz make myself sae it out.. and maybe cause i juz wanna rant.. i duno.. i juz hate it when i'm like dat..
ingenue
1:13 AM
